42opus

is an online magazine of the literary arts.

2 June 2003 | Vol. 3, No. 2

Houses All My Life

I nod off? Listen. Call it a bell though it buzzes. More crackle than buzz. All my life, houses. Houses have bells. Apartments buzzers. Townhouse Georgia calls it. Shithouse. Listen.

"Bzzzz."

There it is. Alright. Here I come. Feet go in shoes. Clogs. Hate 'em on the steps but like 'em on the rug. Help me reach things on the pantry top shelf. Ass is asleep. Cheeks tingle like they been novocainated. Feel like sand. Sand bags. Saddle bags. Get to the top of the landing so they can see my shadow.

"Bzzzz."

Hold your horses. Hand on railing. Clogs clunk hard on wooden steps. Sounds hollow. Steps're slick. Smells stale. Like rotten lemon peel. Should put out some of the apple potpourri Georgia sent. Put it on the hutch with the mirror and the dog pictures. Dachshunds. Neighbors owned one when we lived out at Fern Prairie. Get excited and piss on you. Try to hump your leg. Wouldn't mind a leg hump these days.

"Bzzzz."

You see this slow-moving shadow through that frosted glass? It's my old ass comin'. You got a package? Leave the bastard on the stoop. You want to talk to me? Then contain yo'self and give an old lady time to descend these steps.

"Vrrrt."

Mercy. Must've been the cauliflower. Hope it don't smell. Now I must put out the potpourri. Wonder if I've ever done it around comp'ny. Grandmother used to fart in public. Oh Lord, how long has it been since I remembered the time she shit herself at the fairgrounds and made Kenneth drive her home to change? I bet I haven't remembered that for years. So embarrassed she stormed off and said outta my way chink to a nice older Chinaman with his granddaughter. Felt bad for her. And him. Tipped his hat and apologized for gettin' in us nice folks way. 'Nice floaks.' Know she felt bad too. Treated all folks good, unless they quarreled with her. Daddy Dub teased her when she came back and asked did she go home and put on one of Tissie's diapers. She said that's bold talk from a man who once got himself sucked by a hobo, Dub. Said don't try and shame me-I will win. Peculiar marriage. Last step. Biggest one. Hard to keep the clogs on the feet. Clunk.

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Pereless?"

"Pronounced Peerless, dear."

"Oh, my god. I'm totally sorry. I'm Amanda?"

"Yes."

"I work with Courtney Benavidez? I guess she cleaned for you for a while?"

"Yes, I know Courtney. How is she? Why don't you come in, honey."

"Thank you. Thank you so much. And she's fine. She mentioned she talked to you about me coming over today?"

"Oh. Well that's okay. Company's always nice."

"I hate to intrude. God, she said she confirmed it. I thought she sen