4 August 2007 | Vol. 7, No. 2

Aphorisms for Frida Kahlo

by NEIL DE LA FLOR

Groucho Marx thought we are all clowns in disguise, but are we not also the disguise of clowns—like the tourists at Disneyland, in Los Angeles?

According to Aimé Césaire, assimilation is the first step toward counter assimilation, and counter assimilation is the last stage of assimilation. Return to African culture, traditional African values and religions, is one way to fight colonialism, but colonialism is the last rag left in the dump to wipe the asses of AIDS patients and the tables after the patients have eaten. Society eats what defines that culture. AIDS defines what has not already been eaten.

In 1972 Stephen Hawking postulated the existence of bone-crushing black holes where nothing could escape, not even a gizzard, or light. Hawking has changed his mind. Now he proposes that information can escape, a radiation of a peculiar sort, one that can transmit bursts of black light like a Britney Spears concert.

Some say sadomasochism is a dirty word, but isn't dirty a dirty word, and merde? A sadist is just another form of disguise, someone who hides the Bounce and Snuggle in a dark corner of the laundry room.

With a frame bolted to the head with metal pins, a cyclotron can achieve stunning success in a single session of radiosurgery. In Spain, Salvador Dalí masturbated with beans. Post-operative, monkeys can blink with half a brain removed.

At age 13 Frida Khalo joined the communist party. Inspired by the Mexican Revolution she fell in love with a cactus and a pig. Shortly after her death the hieroglyphs in Egypt were decoded. They all read, Diego.