14 January 2008 | Vol. 7, No. 4
Hello, My Name Is
Bill. Let me guess: you knew a guy named Bill
which makes it tough to picture other Bills.
The question is: who doesn't know a Bill?
Bill minced your heart in kindergarten. Bill,
litigious prick, missed the bottom step. Bill
the shih tzu–pomeranian mix. Bill
the vermiculturist. Mechanic Bill,
who murdered Santa. Did you know that Bills
are big in history? There's Pecos Bill,
Big Bill Broonzy, Bill Bixby, Pitchfork Bill.
Elizabethan England: lousy with Bills.
And earlier, the Conqueror. William,
you say. But can't a famous guy be Bill
outside the book, gnawing on a drumstick?
About the author:
Dan Kaplan is the author of the forthcoming book Bill's Formal Complaint (The National Poetry Review Press, spring 2008) and the bilingual chapbook SKIN (Red Hydra Press, 2005). He lives in Portland, Oregon.